How well you know you? You can say exactly who you are not succumbing to the influence of labels and stereotypes that others hang on you? If not, then you have gone too far from your real. And complexes and fears are to blame for this.
“Who you are?”,” What are you?”,” Your Personality – what does it make of?” – I am sure that you are used to reading psychological literature and reflected, which means that you can calmly answer these questions without going into reasoning. Each of us consists of experience, self -identification, our own past, talents.
All this is understandable. But “personalized problems” are not in the last place in this list: complexes, fears, phobias, behavioral features or even shortcomings like aggressiveness or indecision.
They are also part of our personality or not? Let’s figure it out.
Portrait of an artist in youth
Many of us are convinced that personality forms circumstances. Failures, pain, losses – all of them are imprinted on our “I” and create what we love to call character. Fans of Freudianism and Psychoanalysis as a whole will not fail to add to the list and education, and injuries, and all kinds of parental mistakes. And perhaps you can’t argue with this.
But the question remains open: is it worth it to get along with this as a mandatory part of yourself? To exist without going beyond the “specified parameters”, the destruction of which goes years of therapy. The answer to him is his own.
Personally, I am sure that a person comes to this light for happiness and joy. Read – for life itself. Being a baby, he is trusting, open, able to love, is confident in himself. But here it is growing, and it happens to it. Actually, life happens. They didn’t say that, they compared not with that, then he blurred.
And there is no point in looking for guilty. Parents? Firstly, they are those that are: they did not read the columns in psychological magazines, they did not go to therapy. Secondly, they could want the best, but due to their own anxiety, which they tried not to demonstrate, so as not to cripple your psyche, they did not give you love. So you have grown up a troubled person.
It could happen that the parents had to leave the baby in the hospital for a while. Unpleasant medical manipulations were committed with him there, but exclusively out of better motives – to save life and maintain health. And in the end, parents took away a little neurotic.
There are no guilty
For clarity, let’s imagine the twins. One in childhood was bitten by a dog, and the other, say, licked, joyfully wagging her tail. One got a fright for a lifetime, the other became attached to the four -legged.
I am sure that such “prints of biographies” form not a character at all, but a certain, relatively speaking, “illness”. Something like a
rash on a face under which the real color of your skin is not visible. And if one day you decide for yourself that you want to finally get rid of it, it will be quite possible to do it.
Just imagine: you can take and start living. Do not exist, do not survive, do not adapt. Do not look fearfully: no matter what happens. Do not pull yourself: well, where am I, with my abilities. But just do what you like. Build relationships. To work where it is comfortable, where you are “in your place”: do what you like, get as much as you need.
I am convinced: in order to achieve this, it is not necessary to open the past and remember all the dogs that have ever posted you. I propose something else: learn to exist right now as a healthy person without pain and problems.
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